More on Indonesian Weddings

The whole wedding affair was far more complicated than I remember my wedding being. But, that’s probably because it involved two Indonesians and not an Indonesian and an American. As we were acting for Dommi’s family, we ended up (let me rephrase that to everyone except me ended up doing all sorts of work). I think the family was getting fairly irritated with the whole thing at the end, but it was hard to tell.

So for the actual nikah ceremony we drove to a village just outside of Singaraja and all packed in to this fairly small house which belonged to the relatives of the girl/woman (she’s 18 and very desaish so I’m not sure what to call her). Dommi forgot some of his lines which made his bride’s uncle extremely irritated and as a surprise to me, he let on his irritation.

I spend a lot of time living in a somewhat liminal state in Indonesia in regards to my status – perhaps because the status of the expatriate (the one who is actually planning on living here forever, not the one who is looking to stay a few years and then return home) is so fluid here in Indonesia.

Hmm, how is this related to the wedding? There was some connection, but it seems to escape me right now.

Well, the wedding went off alright finally and all the papers were signed by the appropriate people. Dommi was given a lecture on his role as a Muslim man and husband. Ratna got a much shorter lecture. That surprised me.

We returned home then, but Dommi had to go to Ratna house in Tegallingah for a few days so that the could meet all the family members and let them get to know him. When he came back, there was a huge ceremony for just the women. The newly married couple had to sit on a stage where everyone stared at them and took photos with them. There was some praying and everyone received food and then all 200 women left. I spent the ceremony up on the balcony on the third floor with my retired psychologist friend. It was much more pleasant up there.

One more set of ties for all of us.

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~ by drbrucepk on January 11, 2008.

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